Chugging along

Yay for the quads finally deciding that its more appropriate to wake up and work, rather than slag off, become depressingly puny looking, then play catch-up. Thank you my little girly muscles for not going into hibernation for too long. On the other hand, am not too impresssed with skin tone:who informed you to become pasty white even for Indian status? Can not wait for striking tan lines I will develop from the brace whilst biking and running outdoors...

As the video says, it has been 3 weeks since surgery. Enter chronic frustration, enter inpatients, enter extreme stubbornness. It's becoming a chore to do my morning stretch followed by a 10 minute (no resistance) bike, afternoon 10 min bike and stretch, evening upper body pilates and resistance band training and guess what, another 10 min bike ride. In between all this I am trying to fit in my research job (emailaholic), which means I sit at the desk at home (the knee still hates driving), however I get so stiff after half an hour I have to get up and stretch. 

The stubbornness likes to rear its ugly head by means of making me think that after a long day I can cook my loving hubby a great meal, which I can time to be ready at the exact moment he walks into the house (thank you mum for teaching me that!), even though it hurts to be standing for too long to cook. I can't help the fact that I enjoy prepping the food, placing them in little bowls for easy access when I "cook" He's working long hours and how can I can not help the fact that I enjoy cooking for him and love the fact that I can greet him with a sloppy kiss and plate of heaven!


I know it may seem like a lot of activity, but it really isn't. It's all low impact, low cardio workout (I don't think my heart rate barely makes 100BBM), and if I don't move, the knee gets stiff and sore. Plus, its so easy to get bored and run out of things to do (I can only watch so many "funny cats" on youtube or check the latest status-update on Facebook), so the next best thing is to kill time with stretching.
The downside; that too gets really boring! Can not wait till I am strong enough to go on flat bike rides outside. A nice slow, meandering ride down Squamish Valley road would be bliss. Take a picnic and my camera, chill out by the river...excellent! 

Though, if you are after some truth, I'd say the real reason for boredom is the fact that rehab is lonely. Doing your exercises at home is lonely because everyone is at work and no one can work with you. 90% of my rehab is completed on my own. And I know I am not the only one who has, or is, going through this exact process and does not feel any different than I do. You see the physio once a week, you may get your other half to help stretch your hip flexors (and I don't mean through sex, although I highly recommend that), you may go for a walk in the grocery store at night to pick up some milk together. But for 8 hours a day, or in my case, 13+ hours for 4 days, you are on your own.

How to resolve, or come close to:
(1) Blast that bloody radio and pump up that bass. 
Do not put on "sad fm" and listen to songs that you know make you cry. I don't know if guys do this, but I am pretty sure girls specifically put on songs that they know have significance to them (e.g listening to Foreigner "I've been waiting for a girl like you" is mine and Kevin's kitchen slow dance song, which always makes me cry with happiness), in order to bring out emotions that have been bottled up since last month, eat chocolate, and drink far too much wine...(not speaking from experience, although the chocolate part is party true). 


(2) Suck it up and shrug off that lonely aching feeling that you are so sure it burning a hole in your stomach (or maybe that's the ulcer you developed from all that drinking and listening to sad music?). Talk it out with yourself and then pick up the phone and call your mum, or your close girlfriend.


(3) Keep and eye on what and how much you eat...
I know that might sound a bit odd, but do you want to suddenly look in the mirror and go, "where did that 4th chin come from?" 


(4) Gloat. Every now and then look in the mirror (just like I did yesterday) and go, "well would you look at that: the jeans pulled out from the drier should be tight, but they are baggy...and I finally fit into my "little bum" lingerie after 3 years of trying to do so! I've lost weight and I look good!" Take that smile you see in the mirror and get on with the day.

Can you tell which knee I had surgery on?!

Gone bruising, gone.

Yup, we still have that nasty bruising on and around the ankle. It's mighty, mighty sore. I can't wear socks higher than my ankle as the weight of a sock brings on too much pain...pathetic right? Maggie the physio is now working on my ankle...we'll leave it at that for now! 

Back to the gloating, I have to cautiously let this out because for once in my life, I am tougher and stronger than some and I am going to quietly use this as my fuel to keep persevering. I was in the unit the last couple of days for research stuff and had a chat to one person who had their meniscus trimmed 7 weeks ago: a much minor surgery compared to ACL, completed via arthroscopy but much quicker post-op turn around. Kevin had his completed a year ago and he was back to work 3 weeks after surgery, you weight bare straight away, no bone drilling, etc...
Anyway, this person, 7 weeks post op can NOT bend their knee, it is extremely swollen, they can not bend to 100 degrees , and they are in considerate amount of pain and walking with a big limp.

Me: I week post op, leg is straight and can bend to 98 degrees. 2 weeks, pain is controlled. Week 3, on my bike. The moral of the story? Be anal with your treatment. be persistent and be strict with yourself because no one is going to be strict to you. You determine your life and what you want from it, and if that means that you work on that knee every day, every 2 hours, you do it. 

I also talked to a couple of other people who had their ACL completed a few years ago. They asked me, "oh, are you waiting for surgery?"
"No, I had it 3 weeks ago"
*look of utter surprise* "you're lying, you look too good, you'r on your feet and your leg is straight! I was in agony for weeks and I still can't bend my leg properly and I had mine done 4 years ago!"
Just give them a light smile Sarah, be polite and say, "well, it's easy to get bored where I live and not much else to do but exercise!" Then walk away with your best non-limp walk, hold your head up high, and do not trip up! 

So when you are having a really shitty day, where the tears come out from no where and you can not stop them, just remember those people who you have met throughout this journey who have been utterly impressed and blown away by your progress, who only wish they had done as you have, blow your nose, wash your face,  and get on with life.

Amen!